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Meaghan

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[16 Mar 2008|03:36pm]
Last Night.
I showed up at the video store around 4, made popcorn. Chad phoned. He asked if the Rainbow Dance was happening tonight and I told him I didn't know. He said he would call back. Twenty minutes and two empty bags of popcorn later he calls. Tells me he had already bought red wine and overheard a couple rednecks talking about the "fag dance" tonight. Thanks for the confirmation, fag dance on.

Many mundane minutes, hours, seconds later I'm released from the grip of rentals and returns and make my way through the melting streets to Chad's house. I soak my shoes in street ponds and spot his pointy hair through a dimly lit window. I knock just as he opens the door. Inside, kids toys, 5 guys. I'm introduced to each (and their loose fitting pants) as quickly as I forget their names. I'm escorted to the kitchen and informed we have to leave IMMEDIATELY. A room-mate's girlfriend simply can't trust the notion of female flesh being presented in front of her untrustable boyfriend/husband/something like that. I can tell Chad is already drunk. Six beers will do that.

Back to the living room. There's porn on the screen, a girl sucking some guy off, over-acting, there's another girl watching, I can see the dimples of her implants through her skin. I sit next to a native looking kid with pocked skin and a nervous demeanor. I guess there's at least 100 hardcore-porn-based channels and I have the opportunity of watching them flip through each one. Chad complains that they don't subscribe to gay porn, his cell phone rings. Adriene The Swimsuit Model is on the line. She'll be there soon. The boys look excited. Chad coerces me to the kitchen again, tells me I need to drink quickly. I advise him that neither of us should as we want to be on our best behaviour at The Fag Dance. Chad reluctantly agrees. 10 minutes later Adriene The Swimsuit Model arrives with someone who looks much too Toronto for this town. I'm disapointed as I had been expectating Adriana Lima and am being presented with the kind-of-cute-but-too-slutty-blonde-girl-you-knew-in-highschool. I sigh and put my snappy, soaked blue shoes back on. She has a car and one door doesn't work. I climb a snow bank to Chad's side and get in. She wants to go to "The Sin Bin". Fuck that. It smells like a urinal and STD's. Chad and I conspire to ditch them downtown.
Less than 45 seconds later, we're at Royal Bank. Toronto and Swimsuit need cash and leave us to wait in the car. Chad and I look at each other and run down Hunter street giggling like magical elves.
We put on functional faces and head inside The Only....
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[13 Jan 2006|12:00am]
the hoff secures his place as the world's biggest tool

if anyone has a secret for getting gum off jeans, i will be very happy. i've tried picking, but because of the location of this people at work think i can't control myself at the lunch room computer.
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[25 Nov 2005|11:54am]
yay i got a higher paying sedimentary job! i guess everyone else in the city works there too (the computer one). i have so much disposable income coming my way i'm a bit giddy. there are so many fabulous things i can waste my money on now...
on wed. to celebrate we went to darren's to hang out for a bit and then some bars. everyone there was really cool, got high & drunk and went to riley's. man, joel's female work friends sure do want me dead. as soon as we walked in he was ambushed by some (dark haired girl was really cool tho) and they began immediatly trying to piss me off. i laughed at them and began trying to trick the bartender into taking my bank card as ID since i forgot my other one. then the saphire room, except i don't remember anything from there except some disgusting watermellon mixture that tasted more like nyquil mixed with some jolly ranchers.
what are some gay activities you haven't indulged in?
also, i bought some fake hair in TO. i call it ma weef.
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[30 Oct 2005|12:15pm]
[ mood | SPOOKY lolllz ]

I slept in at the funeral i was supposed to go to with J for his grandfather on account of my alarm is a piece of shit. i got ready unshowered and with a pretty matronly hairstyle, but it was definitely worth going. it was very nice, I always thought the guy was awesome because he had no teeth and was the happiest man in the world. they had a display of photos at the service, and in every single one he had that big smile. i was sure the corpse of vincent price was in attendance, but i was disapointed to learn it was just a common socially awkward old man.
later on, we went to the exclusive mcci halloween staff party thrown by brett, where of course i was the only lowly semi-employed barista. I'd say 90% of the people were boss and the rest can go fuck themselves for discreetly calling me a slut after i walked past them. slutty or not, my costume was pretty ok. i went as snow white and joel went as a pirate, and i'm sure the photos will leak soon. i'd probably say the best costumes were joel's and his friend josh because of the spandex. ryan's melting face trick was pretty cool too tho.
Aside from coincidental funeral dates and uncomfortable parties, I also like to watch Elvira's Haunted Hills while eating that disgusting candy with the orange wrapper to get into the spirit of Halloween. Later on i will boil some spaghetti, put it in a bowl and tell myself it's brains.
i'm offended by this costume.Collapse )

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[25 Oct 2005|04:30pm]
ha, i'm one of those people that does this to their dog.


ArRR! Happy Halloween!

(i really wanted to spell it howl-o-ween.)
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Fightplan: Elements lacking in an otherwise fantastic movie [16 Oct 2005|06:08pm]
[ mood | bored ]

With a few minor improvisions, I could have seriously enjoyed the filmCollapse )

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[11 Sep 2005|01:17pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

Yesterday work was brutal...The Pride parade and Trent charity organization outside brought in a non-stop fleet of hungry/thirsty patrons...At one point I was literally catering to 20 people by myself (there's only 1 person working per shift right) so I didn't get a chance to pee for like 6 hours. It's harder than people think I guess. Some crazy guy with no teeth keeps coming in (not buying anything) and asking about my boyfriend and how he treats me. He says I'm "cute" and insists he could treat me better. I generally prefer my men with a good tooth:gum ratio and without the smell of listerine on their breath, but I'm fairly picky.
Anyways, at least this gives me perspective to realize that I never, ever want to be subserviant to any other human being beyond this point in my life, so I plan on making a concrete objective to get as much B.Admin knowledge as I can thus beginning my odyssey to a ruthless, money hungry career. The cafe draws in generally nice, interesting people, I just know I could never work in hospitality/food as a career.
Here's the course I plan on taking as soon as i can if I do well at this I'm going to check out the Trent program as well. My original life goal (since I was a little kid) was to usurp my mother's job because I feel this is the way it would work in nature. I was convinced that I could weasel my way into the company as temp. and then sabotage her eventually gaining her position. Unfortunatly, her company was bought out and now her job fucking sucks, so I guess that plan is out.

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[12 Aug 2005|02:18am]
This is the most fucked up thing I have ever seen. Ever.
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[11 Aug 2005|11:51am]
i guess i officially exist as a person...i finally got my birth certificate after almost 2 years of typical canadian gov. incompetence so i applied for a SIN number which means job which means money. I decided the first thing i'm going to save for is a car because if i keep taking the bus i'll have to have 4 kids and find more ways to be a drain on the economy. i really wanna work at the funeral home up the street because i'll get to dress up every day and it's 3 minutes from my house. i guess i'll try MCCI too since that's pretty much a given i'll get it.

this is the funniest Conan segment ever i think if i ever witnessed a person challenging someone to a fight like that i would die.
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[10 Jul 2005|08:55pm]
no one waste money on "Dark Water"...unless a 2 hour build up with no climax is your thing...(think viagra and roseanne bar in fishnets).
concert was good and amazing and etc...the keyboardist Linda was staring at me the whole time because she loves me or something. we didn't stay for autographs after because we had been standing for about 8 hours..the hotel was pretty awesome too. I like Toronto because there is sushi almost everywere, which could explain the smell.
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[29 Jun 2005|09:16am]
[ mood | sleep ]

I was in Toronto on Monday. I was walking up Yonge and a limp wristed man flicked cigarette ashes in my eye. I also have to go back to that horrible place for the concert on saturday. I got my fake ID though, looks good, except for the cheezy 'wink+gun' face I'm making. Me and my sister saw Scott Thompson (Kids in the Hall, My Fabulous Gay Wedding) walking with a funny little entourage, he's alot shorter than he looks on t.v. I think he had a security guard with him, but he looked boring. If I was a gay male icon, I would want to have one of each different kind of stereotype to walk around with, like on Queer as Folk. My bodyguard would be named Leatherchops.

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[14 Jun 2005|06:13pm]
[ mood | blah ]

For some reason my former law teacher (i've dropped like 3 of his classes) seems to think I'm 30 years old and still in highschool...ok...so i had to take an extra year, i usually tell people I don't know that I'm upgrading....if upgrading means making up for credits you pissed away in grade 9 because you were a stoner. it wasn't even worth it anyways. i would skip in the morning with my friend, get stoned, and then go to the mall and watch the elderly people claw at the doors until they opened... then they would buy their cheap coffee and eat the digestive cookies they brought with them in a re-used ziplock bag. anyways, so he walks by my group today and starts making crazy faces at me, and asks if i STILL go here (meanwhile i'm standing with 5 people who are also taking an extra year)....
there are also (literally) about 45 girls today wearing shirts that said in huge letters "THAT'S HOT" ("YOU'RE NOT" on the back). I'd rather wear a shirt that said "I BUY MY PANTIES USED ON EBAY" than that shit. Paris Hilton really helped mold a generation of little retards to worship her.

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[14 Jun 2005|03:08pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

so i have to get a fake id next week...for absolutly no reason...that's right, i'm getting a fake id to go to a show that i'll be 19 when i see anyways...why? because the canadian government cater more to illegal immigrants than it's own citizens. i've been waiting for my birth certificate for over a year now, and apparently the people handling my files are working on immigrant cases and then they'll "get to mine"...what the fuck is there to "get to"? sign the bastard and send it back to me. i currently have no legal documents stating my birthday at all, and can't get any because i'm waiting on this stupid birth certificate...this also means i can't get a job. (i have one though, illegally!)
if not for 'novelty id's' i would be so screwed right now.

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[08 Jun 2005|06:24pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Today I woke up to the sound of hundreds of children screaming...

For some reason the first thought in my mind is that it is the end of the world, so in a sleepy haze I decide I should just sleep in, since the world is going to end anyways.
My second thought, is that the man that can summon aliens was right, and they had arrived on Earth and begun annihilating the children first, seems logical?

went back to sleep for 15 minutes.

I wake up again, my thought process a little less scattered, I figure it is probably just some kind of horrible school fire, but I better get up anyways.


It was a bunch of kids on "strike" because they don't get field trips and they were screaming at each car that drove by and holding up their sad, sad signs...
Next apocalypse I really will sleep in.

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[02 Jun 2005|11:42pm]
Joel took me aside today and confided that my tribute to Brian Peppers really upsets him and he wants me to remove it from my journal. Then he began weeping because the whole ordeal was too much for his fragile emotions.
I think he would feel better if he became more familiar with Brian...perhaps some childhood pictures would help...
Awww, he's wearing a suit and smiling with the promise of many sexual convictions to come
and a few more for good measure.
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[01 Jun 2005|02:19pm]
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[31 May 2005|02:51pm]
[ mood | stealing ]

Meet the new star of the internet! Brian Peppers; Sex offender with Crouzon's Syndrome!


Oh, and a man can summon UFO's.

In other news, where the fuck are my Billy Corgan tickets?

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Ahhh, so that's what my epithelial cells look like.... [30 May 2005|07:53pm]
[ mood | grown into a chair ]

Strange day in media studies. We're doing a screen play pretty soon which so happens to be the largest piece of solecistic bullshit I've read since Joel's favourite "choose your own adventure" novels. The main character is a chinese stereotype consequently named "Ping-Pong"...Anyways, because there's limited females in the class, and I wasn't really paying attention during the role hand-outs, they decided by process of elimation that I get to be "Shoey" everyone's favourite syringe bearing crackwhore! It came along with an illustrative picture (woman in shorts with bruises and syringes everywhere) and my first line; "That's a nice crap hole"...After the teacher explained that we had to show up "in costume" I immediately refused and made some other girl take my part. I know I'm no fun, but this will be immortalized in film, so there's no way in hell kids. Earlier, the teacher was showing us how to operate the camera and I got to be the example! YAY extreme close-up of my face on a giant T.V!!.......
Then I went to the mall with Caitlyn and bought cookies....I think some other things happened, but my short term memory is shot lately.
This weekend was alright, we took some pretty decent shrooms on saturday (they tasted absolutely rancid) and Val Kilmer read us the bible on some lame PBS channel. That guy has really let himself go.

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[20 May 2005|11:02pm]
[ mood | anesthetic ]

My friends decided last week that the token cambodian kid (Garry) in our group should run for school president-- whether he likes it or not. Technically, he's not even legitimate but everyone still designed and made multiple copies of ridiculous posters with phrases like "THE CHEPPER IS WATCHING YOU" and "Democracy Means no Questions-vote Chepper for preZ!". None are really that funny or creative, but they did a great job confusing everyone, and one of the six people doing it got blamed for everything.
So today we were sitting in the library because Cait had to study or something, and I found this copy of National Geographic with a black skinned primitive monkey man...I covered up the "National Geographic" logo with "Vote Chepper!" and "Jungle Fever!"...I'm sure this will turn into a racial dispute because of the picture. I gave the copies to Garry and later saw him handing them out in the halls, so I think he's cool with it.



Also, I've never been so excited about my birthday and I won't stop talking about this for months so get used to it...
"I’m just one wish away
I’m just one wish away from you kid
I’m just one wish away
I’m just one wish away from you kid
I’m not so innocent
I’m not so innocent now kid"


Work tomorrow..I sleep now.

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[18 May 2005|08:10pm]
[ mood | HAPPPPPPYYYY! ]

Ok so this morning I'm all excited and paranoid about getting my pre-sales EXACTLY at 10 am before the "rush". I had a nightmare earlier that morning that nothing works out and my computer crashs and they are sold out...So at 9:59 at the Ticketmaster page, I'm all nervous (this is a big deal for me...shut up...) and as 10 rolls around I'm frantically clicking everything that indicates TICKETS...It was all done, and I had my tickets, except for the shipping page. There were 3 different boxes so I click 'normal mail' for each without reading it, and it takes me to this form page where I have to enter all my info back in and in big red letters it says there is a time limit and unless I complete this form in 3 minutes my tickets will be given away. I get everything filled out except in the location box where it lists every country except Canada and the U.S.
I refresh and the time limit is getting shorter and shorter. I begin to panic. I'm getting frustrated and beginning to think Ticketmaster is toying with me. I've heard they're evil bastards so their ominous ways could be applicable to this situation. I decide to list myself as living in the "Outer lying islands of The United States" with plans to call them later, but BOOM time's up.
So I go back, get more tickets, this time thoroughly read the instructions and do NOT list myself as an international customer and get my tickets easily (this is why reading is important). I have two (the limit, i feel bad because Ryan was supposed to come with us :(..) but they're ground level which is apparently hard to get...Caitlyn called because she heard on the radio that they're only selling 40 more ground tickets and the rest will be balcony...hahah she's so excited for me, i love her.
It's just all too perfect though...I guess the venue is 19+, but coincidently, this show is on the same day I will turn 19. I'll settle down about this soon, but it's just huge for me because I'm FINALLY going to see the artist i've been listening to since i was 7 years old.
Caitlyn and I went to the mall. Again. There's not much else to do at lunch when she has no car...So we go to Music World and we're looking around, whatever, and looking at nostalgic dvd's and i suddenly realize that my favourite movie when i was little was "Elvira: Mistress of the Dark" and it would be awesome to get the dvd since old low rated ones like that are usually dirt cheap. I get Cait to ask for it because she has no clue what i'm talking about, and she generally does my bidding (bwa haagahahs)...She goes to the man and asks for "Elmira"..I burst out laughing and walk away....then tell him the real title and he offers to order it for me...the woman, old man and i have a little talk about her and the girl says "Well i can see her appeal...if you're a guy..." hahha...this woman was my role model growing up...so what if likes to perform with nipple tassles...

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